Welcome to Calm Parents, Better Days!

Hi Reader!

September can be a tough month for parents. The less structured, almost care free, days of summer are winding down The days are getting shorter and kids will be starting school soon (some have already gone back).

Vacations and late nights will be replaced with morning meltdowns and homework battles. If you are having mixed emotions about the back to school transition, you are not alone. While I'm excited for my son's senior year of high school, I'm also dreading the struggle of getting him up and out the door every morning.

I'm hoping you'll find something in this newsletter to help you ease the transition from summer to fall.

Here's what you'll find in this newsletter:

• Handling homework battles
• Dealing with after school meltdowns
• Connecting with your teen
• Making time for self-care

Handling homework battles

When my son was younger, homework was one of the biggest sources of stress for our family. After a full day of sitting still, trying to pay attention and being told to be quiet, the last thing he wanted to do was sit at the table to do homework. He would be antsy and not listen when I tried to help him. We'd end up yelling at each other and ultimately we would both end up in tears. Meanwhile the math sheet was left undone.

If homework is a cause of stress for your family:

• Chunk it into manageable pieces (with breaks in between)
• Work with your child to find a time that works for both of you to tackle the work (probably not right after school)
• If your child is really struggling, stop and either try again later, or let it go and send the teacher a message about why the homework didn't get done

Above all try to stay calm. If your child sees that you're starting to stress out, then their own stress will only increase.

Dealing with after school meltdowns

A lot of kids go into meltdown mode after school. Parents are left wondering "What the heck did I do?" After school meltdowns aren't personal. Kids aren't meant to sit still, quietly, for long periods of time. Too many schools have eliminated recess, or they use it as a reward and take it away for punishment. Even during Phys Ed, students have to listen to instructions and are scolded for talking to friends.

So when your child is finally in the safety of your presence, all that stress and energy that they've been holding in, comes out in a full blown meltdown.

When this happens, do your best to stay calm. Listen without trying to fix and then offer them what they may need...often physical activity or more likely, a snack. A hug might not hurt either (as long as they're up for it).

Connecting with your teen

Parenting teens comes with unique challenges that we may not be prepared for. Teenagers are under pressure to figure out their future, keep up with schoolwork, navigate relationships and still find the time and energy to enjoy life.

Connection might be the most powerful tool that parents of teens can use. You've probably discovered that punishments rarely work, and teens are really good at finding ways around them anyway.

The next time your teen talks about a band they love, ask to hear their favorite song by them. If there's a show or movie they are obsessed with, make time to watch it with them. These small attempts at connection will mean so much to your teen. Over time you'll be surprised at how much more willing they are to share with you.

Making time for self-care

While back to school can be stressful for students, it's often overwhelming for parents too. New classes, new teachers, new friendships...there is a lot for parents to worry about.

It's so important to keep taking care of yourself, especially when life gets busier. If you're finding it hard to make time for self-care, try to:

• limit your commitments to sports, clubs, PTA, and other organizations
• wake up earlier and take some quiet time before the morning rush
• do something you enjoy every day!

And of course, always remember, it's ok to ask for help. Parenting wasn't meant to be done alone!

Questions?

If you have suggestions of topics for future newsletters or if you found something particularly helpful, please let me know. I would love to hear from you!

Make sure you check out my website for information on my coaching services, digital downloads and upcoming events.

If you haven't already grabbed it, download my FREE self-care tracker!

$0.00 Self-care tracker Parents often put the needs of their family before their own. Unfortunately this can lead to stress and burn out. Keep... Read more Take care of YOU!

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If you find this information helpful, please forward it to a friend!

Take care of yourself!

Kim

P.S. - I know your time is valuable and you probably already get too many emails. I plan to keep every email short and sweet, no long blog posts, no detailed personal stories. My aim is to send you simple steps that you can take now to become a calmer parent.