Calm Parents, Better Days

Parenting wasn't meant to be done alone

Welcome to Calm Parents, Better Days!

If you feel like you've been struggling more than usual, you are certainly not alone! I've noticed it's harder for me to get motivated and I haven't been feeling my best mentally or emotionally.

There's so much going on right now. The world feels uncertain, the price of everything is on the rise and things just feels heavy.

When life is full of so many external stressors (things we can't control), it's hard showing up every day for our kids. This is when self-care is even more vital than usual. It's important to try to stay focused on the present and on what you can change in your life, instead of worrying about the future or dwelling on the past.

Here is what you can expect in this newsletter:

• The Tantrum Trap
• Staying Present in the Digital Age
• Self-care Isn't Earned
• Upcoming Events

The Tantrum Trap

All parents have experienced tantrums at some point. Some of us have experienced more than our fair share! From kicking and screaming to crying and withdrawing, tantrums can take on many forms.

It would be great if there was an easy way to totally end tantrums, or at least make them happen less frequently. But they are actually a normal and healthy part of a child's development. What we see is a stress response to a situation that's scary or uncomfortable for our kids.

Because tantrums are not behaviors that kids can control (the emotional brain has taken over), a lot of parent reactions are counterproductive. Things that won't work to diffuse a meltdown include:

• Yelling
• Using reason or logic
• Punishing
• Bribing

So what can you do? The most important thing is to do your best to stay calm. Kids feed off of our emotions and behaviors. If you are at a high level of stress (yelling, slamming doors) then your child's stress level increases. Try this instead:

• Take a deep breath
• Remember your child is having a hard time
• Remind yourself that they are not using their thinking brain
• Approach the situation with calm

Reacting calmly signals to your child's brain that they are safe and they will begin to calm down. After all, calm is contagious!

Staying Present in the Digital Age

Technology has come with a lot of benefits. But it has also caused a lot of damage to our lives. It's easier than ever to get caught up in scrolling through Instagram or Tik Tok. The never ending cycle of videos and information can be hard to turn off, especially if it distracts you from the harder parts of life.

Tech can be fun and useful, but it often cuts into the things in our lives that are important, especially connection.

Think back to your life before smartphones and streaming services. Is there anything you miss about that time? How could you get back to living life with less tech? What tech habits are you modeling for your kids?

Next time you reach for your phone, to answer a text, check the weather or look something up, think...Is this something I really need to do at this moment? If your kid asks you to watch them do something or play with them, put down your phone and do it! Emails and Facebook will still be there when you're done.

Self-care Isn't Earned

A lot of parents I talk to say they don't have time for self-care because there is just too much they need to do. They usually feel like they should only have time for themselves after all the chores and tasks of the day are taken care of.

But as you know, self-care is critical, especially for parents.

So even if the sink is still full of dishes, or the clothes need to be folded...take a break! Do something you enjoy! If you find it hard to let those things go or to relax when there are still chores to be done, ask yourself why that might be and work on addressing those thoughts.

Upcoming Events

I will have a table at the Sweet Home School District Health and Wellness Fair this Saturday, May 9th from 10 - 2. Come talk with me about your parenting challenges and pick up some freebies! There will be a lot of other helpful organizations there as well. Click here for more information.

My spring group coaching session starts Wednesday May 27th. We will meet virtually on Wednesdays from 6pm - 7pm EST. The meeting dates are May 27th, June 3rd, June 10th and June 17th. If you are interested, just reply to this email with the subject "group coaching" and I will get back to you with the details. If you'd like more information you can view the flyer here.

Questions?

If you have suggestions of topics for future newsletters or if you found something particularly helpful, please let me know. I would love to hear from you!

Make sure you check out my website for information on my coaching services, digital downloads and upcoming events.

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